I've been thinking about this since last night when i first read the question. I think that my answer would be that for me my "queer" is kinky. But like most things related to sexuality it needs exploration and discussion.

When I was young (in my teens) my first male-male sexual experiences happened with a friend who was kinky. Tied up, tied down, gagged and blindfolded I got and learned to give other men blowjobs.

But that was then... theses days I consider myself to be relatively vanilla... but of course it comes with a whole host of caveats. Because I *DO* think it's kinky to be queer. To love my boyfriend and girlfriends in a multitude of ways.

For me kinky and queer are ways of describing non-heteronormative sexuality. They may have different connotations depending on circumstance but for the most part they roll into one singular world for me. That world is mine... the one that I move through with my friends and lovers and community members. I don't feel a burning need to "come out" about it in every situation, but I don't try to hide it either.

I think that poly is part of my "kinky/queer" because it's not heteronormative. Being able to wake up and say "I love X. and Y. and Z." or "I fuck X. and Y. and Z." smacks in the face of what society and my parents (and other "adults") taught me. (on the other hand, my 'rents taught me to love, and taught me solid values like honesty and communication, so perhaps I am following their path)

I think I derailed your questions a little... hopefully it's ok?

Well our camp at Burning Man was/is called Twisted Poly, both because I use primarily twisted polypropolyne rope in my rigging and because we're all poly and definitely twisted. Is kink part of our poly? We're all kinky, ID as in the leather community, and we're poly. We're not fetishists, rather loving a variety of kink from gender and age play to needles, bondage and fisting. We're very intimate as a small circle of 4 with other close intimates.

Is my kink part of why I'm poly. Not really. I'm been poly way longer than I've played with consensual BDSM. Basically I've always been poly.

Hugz,

RD

>are you a pervert? do you think yer kinky? do you id as "into leather"? <

Yes, yes and yes.

>do you have a particular fetish that you share with others?<

Not sure if I can use the term 'fetish', but I love fire and I'm pretty into my UV Wand, sometimes both together.

I've come to eroticize the smell of burning hair (now if that ain't kinky...)


>are there people you get together with, in a significantly intimate way, to do only one particular type of thing?<

Sort of, there's a set of people I play with, but it's not limited to one particular type of thing.

is yer kink part of why yer poly?

This is a 'chicken-egg' thing for me, they're certainly related, but I can't tell you if one spawned the other :)

Great thread -

Being poly for me came out of a long-term relationship in which I realised that I wasn't as kinky as I wanted to be. I pushed my partner (in gentle good ways) to open up to new ideas, but his sense of sexual adventure is different than mine.

I came out as queer at 21 and with identifying myself as bi came the acknowledgement of my kinkiness. Toys, leather (although my income has never really allowed me to explore that as much as I would like), and fluid non-monogamous relationships.

I think a big reason why our (het) relationship turned poly was because I needed to be more queer than I could be with my SO. I also need to be more kinky.

My current fetish which I have shared with women, and would love in a *big* way to share with a man - are strap ons. Any bi boys out there in Montreal??? Or kinky straight guys? I have received an offer from a man who wants to be my servant and I could probably play with him in this way, but I am not sure yet. I want to take him up on the offer, but I am still trying to process what that would look like. Maybe I should repost my post on the new-to-BDSM tribe here.

Thanks for the thought provocation!